For the few new year years, instead of making resolutions, I have been establishing intentions for different areas of my life. Not quite objectives, these are like gentle reminders for myself about how I want to appear: at work, relationships, health and beyond. This year, under the category of “relationship”, I wrote: Ask better questions and practice a deeper listening. Because when it comes to learning to maintain a conversation in progress, it is not always as intuitive as it seems.
I realized that really connecting to the people I love means creating conversations where they feel valued, heard and careful. And to do that, we have to be present, ask good questions and listen, really listen.
So, if you’ve ever been fighting to fill an uncomfortable silence or wish to have requested a more significant monitoring, this guide is for you. We are going to immerse ourselves.
A Practical Guide: How to maintain a conversation in progress
1. Start for real listening
We have all experienced that moment in which you are in the mid -history and we realize that the other person is not really listening. Or maybe you have a leg, distracted, your mind running ahead.
The secret to maintaining a conversation flowing naturally? Listen first.
When it really tune in, it will naturally collect details that are worth exploring. The conversation stops feeling like a performance and begins to feel like a connection.
2. Ask more questions
Investigations of Harvard Business Review Confirms what many of us have felt after a unique conversation, “hopefully they would have asked me more questions.”
The good news is that you don’t have to be an experienced interviewer to be a great conversationalist. Just start asking more. The act of being curious opens doens to unexpected stories, shared memories and significant connections.
Some ideas to start:
- Tell me how you ended up living in [their city]. What do you love about that?
- Is there any hobbies that obtained the duration of the pandemic that stuck?
- What are the best vacations that you have tasks and why?
- Who was your first falling in celebrities? Do you think they influenced your guy?
- What was the first book you remember loving? Is it still a favorite?
3. Allegate the follow -up questions
If you want to know how to maintain a conversation in the effort, this is your magical movement.
The tracking questions show that you are really committed, and open the deepest and most significant answers. It is a simple way to turn an informal talk into something special.
Try the thesis:
- What makes that say?
- How did it feel that?
- What do you mean exactly with that?
Even young children realize when they request reflective follow -up. I have seen it in my own relationship with Henry, when I ask him to make, he knows that I care. And it is not different with adults.
Premium: Here we show you how to update everyday questions in connection builders:
- How was your day? ? What was the best part?
- How is your mother? ? What keeps it with the leg occupied with milk?
- Can you help me understand that a little better?
- What motivated you to do/say that?
- How does that appear in your daily life?
4. Ask open questions
The closed questions that can answer with a quick “yes” or “do not” tend to stop the conversations on their clues. Open questions, on the other hand, invite people to reflect, share stories and be a bit vulnerable.
When I am interviewing the creators of Tesores or the guests of attention calls, the best conversations occur when I ask questions that allow people to open unexpectedly.
Some to have in your rear pocket:
- What has happened since we spent since the last time Caht?
- What do you think? [a recent event, book, or film]?
- What is a memorable chanance encounter you have had?
- Tell me about your last great food, how special?
5. Resist the impulse to interrupt
Okay, guilty. I tend to get excited so much when I interact with what some say jump before they finish. But the interruption can involuntarily remove the conversation from where it was heading, or make the other person feel hurried.
One of the best ways to improve your conversations is to feel comfortable with a little silence. Let people finish their thoughts. Pause before answering. As the saying goes, “seeks to understand more than be understood.”
The power of good questions
If you need more tests of how transformer this can be, read the Modern love Essay on how mutual vulnerability develops closeness. The authors share that a key pattern in deep relationships is “the sustained, growing, reciprocal and personal personal revelation.”
The famous study of 36 questions, which promoted intimacy among strangers, is proof that reflexive questions can unlock the connection in minutes.
Final thoughts
The best conversations are not perfectly written. They are based on genuine curiosity, the presence and will to deepen a little.
Upon listening well, asking more (and better) questions and relying in those moments of open range, will naturally learn to maintain a conversation, whether it is on an appointment, catch up with a friend or make small conversations in the event.
Your turn: What is your favorite question to ask someone you know better? I would love to listen.
This publication was updated for the last time on April 22, 2025 to include new ideas..
