Dear Eric: I would like to get better with my niece’s wife, and I hope you sacrifice some strategies.
The wife is a good person, but it is of great maintenance in a way that makes it the group that is in the curve to keep it comfortable. The boat tour has to go at a certain speed, so it does not get tidal. She has to drive any car in which she is, even if she doesn’t know the roads and is not a good driver.
I have no problems for her to do what he takes care of herself, but whatever it is from the whole group and leaves us all agitating to comply with their requests.
Recently I read about hostages, and I wondered if that could be at stake. My niece who ever was no longer takes adventures because or his wife. Duration rare family gatherings that my niece is enjoying, his wife will have a sudden stomach, and there goes my niece, to sleep with her in a quiet room.
I am not asking for advice on their relationship, but for mine with the wife. Every time we are together, I am less patience.
I do not want to be a person who has little tolerance for the “children’s thesis days” and their many special requests. I am not sure how to be upset by them.
– I want to do better
Dear Better: There may be more, but it seems that many of the events when patience is tested are family social exits. Therefore, you can take a book from your niece’s wife and start thinking about what you will need to enjoy the next time you are all together.
This is not an attempt to put this all this. And I am sure they are some things that you cannot avoid. It is not practical, for example, renting another boat. But maybe you can ride a different car.
Knowing how his niece’s wife could react to certain situations, and how situations of hope will go, can train him to speak for what he needs too.
Part of this, I am sure, it is rooted in a group for your niece. It is difficult to enjoy when we see our loved ones suffer. This can be how he feels when he sees his sick wife too. So, without immersing me too much in the psychology of the armchair, you can also talk to her about what you are observing and listen to what she says.
Ask if there are ways in which the family can help support her and her wife and see if she is open to a rain of ideas so that everyone can have a good time. It is possible that a conversation does not solve everything, but can open to creative solutions and help you feel acceptance instead of discomfort.
Dear Eric: My older sister died recently after a disease of length.
My husband’s first cousins have responded with calls, cards and messages, they expect one of their cousins.
We attended the funeral of the mother of this cousin last year, in another city, we sent flowers and my husband spoke in the service.
I still have to recite any acdolumination of this cousin, just although she and her husband are aware of death.
I am injured and bwakdilded their when they were in our only ones a few months ago and they talk to my husband weekly.
I have not mentioned this to my husband, since he and his cousin are close. She and her husband are retired and seem to do a lot of entertainment, so I don’t think they are too square to call or send a card.
I always believed that as soon as some learned of a death, it was appropriate to communicate with the afflicted person. He has bone about 10 days since my sister’s death.
Am I being unreasonable?
– Without resolved
Dear without recognition: There is a truth here: the complaint manifests from all children or insidious. Just although his sister’s disease was long, this part of the complaint is new, and many difficult things arise. I am not judging you for the way you feel, and I hope you win either.
Another truth: when we experience the loss, it is important that those who care for us accompany us. That did not happen in the case of her husband’s cousin, and it hurts. I regret your packages and that you have experience in this pain.
Talk to your husband about how you feel. I hope it can be an intermediary, pushing your cousin to make sure they know that they care.
Sometimes people don’t know what to say. Sometimes they fear that they have lost the opportunity. Her husband can remind you of these additional truths: it is never too late, sometimes it may be enough to say: “I’m sorry; I am here; I love you.”
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingeric.com or Po Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19110. Follow it on Instagram @ouric and register for your weekly bulletin in Reichomas.com.
